Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Archive for July, 2010

Physical Recoil Transfigured

The sight of a dead animal by the side of the road, a wrecked car, even an uprooted tree is likely to cause a gut wrenching recoil for most people. In all likelihood, most of us instantly start imagining what happened, or what might have happened, that it could have been us or a loved one. We may well feel profound sadness or intense outrage. These seem particularly prevalent when the death (or injury) is a violent one. This is what I encountered recently when I repeatedly came upon a series of dead birds. As I wrote in my previous posting, Messages of Exquisite Transition, I came to recognize that they messages were truly divine ones, that I may well have completely missed due to an inbred reaction to death.

Once I recognized that something was happening on an exceptionally deep level, I made an instant connection with profound inner work that I had done some ten years ago. Late in 1999 I was unexpectedly diagnosed, on the operating table, with ovarian cancer. I awakened to learn that the doctors had found cancer and I was given a complete hysterectomy. I was able to process the physical healing from the surgery, the side effects of chemotherapy, and the mental healing from this news and all its ramifications in the weeks and months that followed this development.

What was most difficult for me to integrate was the absolute finality of the reality that I would never be a mother. I tried desperately to pursue adoption, however ultimately my husband confessed that even under these circumstances he could not in good conscience adopted when he felt that he would never be able to feel 100% that an adopted child was his. When I finally accepted this, I was left with the gut wrenching realization that despite a lifelong assumption that I would certainly be a mother, it was not to be.

I tried everything I knew to resolve this loss. I would peel away a layer here, and another there, yet the feeling ran exceptionally deep. Ultimately I was able to identify with the part of myself, the part of all of us, that at a species level, installed this drive, this instinct if you will, into our cells, within our very DNA, in order to insure the perpetuation of human kind. Whoa. That was huge! And it took doing that, in order to release the grip of that cellular programming to vastly reduce this instinctive desire.

So here I am once again, faced with the recognition of an instinctive reaction–this time, to death. Only this time the work was minimal. As I recognized it was the same dynamic, it was nearly instantaneous for me to release this stranglehold of cellular programming. Given I already have the spiritual knowing that death is not something to be feared, but to be embraced as a transition into another form, I merely needed to own that the recoil response to death was chosen by us–as a species in formation–at a time when we needed to preserve an instinctive drive to preserve life at all cost.

And the universe was prepared to test my release of this recoil reaction immediately. As I did my morning walk I was repeatedly guided to take different paths from my usual routine. As I neared the end of my walk I was led directly to a dead bird lying in the middle of the sidewalk, on this “new path” home. This time I walked up and smiled. I blessed the bird, I thanked the universe for this Exquisite Transition showing me divine blessings in all its forms, and I walked the rest of the way home.


Messages of Exquisite Transition

A couple of weeks ago I found myself encountering “signs.”  The nature of these “signs” was disturbing to me, however, and I was at a loss to understand them (or maybe didn’t want to). Within 24 hours I had 3 encounters with dead birds.

It began as I was doing my meditative/ exercise walk one morning, and walked straight up to a bird’s wing. Just the wing–with a bit of blood where it would have been attached to the bird’s body. I was horrified. I felt so shocked, perplexed and sad. I said a blessing, took a deep breath and slowly moved on.

An hour later as I was driving to work my eye caught something white falling from the sky — a large, white dead bird! Right then and there as I was driving by! I couldn’t believe it. First a wing, and now a bird just drops from the sky! Another blessing, a tear and a deep breath.

The next morning as I walk to my car, I see a dead robin lying peacefully on its side, right beside the garage door…. What the hell is going on??

The truth is I never got a clear understanding about this. Some places spoke about bad omens. Most just gave symbolic significance to birds, including specific varieties. (Interpreting waking symbology is essentially the same as interpreting dream symbolism.)

Then yesterday I had a dialog with a fellow metaphysician who pointed out something I had failed to see:

“I understand your concern about the dead animals, but it really isn’t a bad omen. It may however be a sign of how you view death or it could symbolize the death of old patterns in our life. Death is just another step closer to our true journey in life, never to be feared (easier said then done)….  The next time you see a dead animal, think of the animal and its habits not its death.”

As I contemplated this I recognized that the symbol of the bird does not change because the bird is dead. (Birds symbolize divinity and messages, given their connection with the sky/heaven/ freedom.) Once I got passed the fact the bird is “dead,” I could see that the death actually speaks to the transition/ transfiguration into the divine (birds as a whole).

Looking again at my trinity of signs, first I saw a wing–very much an angel connection, which I did recognize when I saw it, despite my thoughts going to how this bird must have suffered to have its wing…well, I don’t want to go there again!

Next a white bird falls from the sky. (While I do not know exactly what kind of bird it was, white always signifies purity and peace in western symbology…think dove.) Could this be: the peace and divinity of heaven now rains down (reigns) upon Earth through the exquisite transitions we now bear witness to?

And the third, the robin, whole and complete, lying peacefully at the entrance to a garage–a place which houses and protects our physical vehicles (bodies). From http://www.greatdreams.com/animals.htm

“ROBIN – denotes a rebirth of ideas or spirit. Denotes the coming of Spring, a new beginning, a new opportunity, or a new birth of self. It also relates to patience such as when he waits for the worm to emerge from the ground for his food.”

An angelic messenger introducing the peace and divinity that we call heaven reigning on Earth? A birth-new beginning of peace, a life transition (death) leading to a rebirth, one of wholeness and completion…sounds pretty awesome actually.

Yeah, maybe not so bad after all.

So why do we recoil when we see these dead messengers – these exquisite messages of divine transition? My thoughts on that tomorrow.

Scary thoughts


Yesterday was a tough day! Especially for a Saturday.  And as the second of the two-day Conscious Convergence event I had an expectation (first clue) that I should be feeling in a particularly high frequency space. Yet it was quite the opposite.

Setting out for my morning moving meditation down to the harbor and around, my heart felt heavy. Being a Saturday I had the opportunity to sit at the waterside for a while, but rather than feeling peaceful I was restless and sad. I repeatedly acknowledged these feelings and brought myself back to focusing on Unity. I finally recognized that first one (meaning “I”) must acknowledge and release the feelings of restlessness vs peace, sadness vs joy, desire vs resistance, right vs wrong and on and on.

Of course I’ve been through this exercise many times before, but in time one gets caught up in whichever polarity and can easily forget that residing in one side of the polarity maintains the other side also. As I recognized and released these I began to feel a sense of moving through and beyond duality. Again questioning my contribution to anchoring “Unity,” I got a clear answer “it is done.” Behind the thought was a knowing that Unity already is and that I know this in my soul. The sadness, the duality that is/was moving through me is a releasing of vestiges to fully manifest this Unity in the here and now. So as I continued my walk, I still felt an aura of sadness, but without a label…just an is-ness.


Later in the day I was confronted with more dualistic issues on the home front, which unleashed another wave of heavy-heartedness! Sad and angry I managed to communicate without rage or blame, but still there was this sadness that was from beyond me.

This sadness was morphing into thoughts that were clearly from beyond the me I know myself to be. I began to have unbidden thoughts of slitting my wrists! I didn’t want to kill myself, and yet I would see blood at my wrists, or have a sense of wanting to take something sharp to my wrists! And I knew it wasn’t me! Now mind you I know that there are people “out there” who would interpret this as some sort of possession, of the biblical kind or indicating mental illness, depending on ones leanings.

But for me, after letting go of the scariness of these thoughts and visions, it was a recognition of another me, an alternate me, in some other timeline, going through something that was leading “me/her” to such thoughts and probably actions. It went so far as my being drawn to lie down in my bathtub to have a good cry (so I felt), yet it fit with the visions of slitting my wrists, and feeling into this lower frequency reality.

As I said–scary. But I KNEW this was NOT my reality.  I was sensing/feeling/seeing it, knowing that the reason was for me to offer MY STRENGTH, MY FAITH, MY INNER BALANCE AND PEACE to that alternate me. The feeling quite clear that while the desire and actions were there, the intent to end that life was not strong, not determined. Therefore I imagine that my awareness of this alternate reality was so that I could lend my abilities, my higher frequencies if you will, to raise the frequencies of the alternate me–so she could know that this was not the way to deal with the feelings she/we were experiencing.

After getting out of the tub the feelings, thoughts and visions ended. There was a sense of greater peace about me. Once I fell asleep I slept well and woke up feeling like “me” again.

“You are Beautiful”

You ARE Beautiful!

U are Needed to Create Unity — Conscious Convergence, July 16-17, 2010

The article below by Carl Calleman is a wonderful explanation of the frequency available to us now, REQUIRED of us now, for us to create the tipping point for manifesting Unity Consciousness. It is so easy to expect things to “just happen.”  We have been indoctrinated to wait for forces outside of us to bring about change. Yet we espouse creating our own reality, power of attraction and so forth. Many of us have been working with these concepts for years, lifetimes even.

Now is the time to put all that knowledge and experience into directed, focused and sustained intention: that from cellular, local, regional, national, planetary, galactic and universal levels, we achieve unity consciousness.

The Unity Wave Begins with U

Carl Calleman:

My Vision for the Conscious Convergence,
July 17-18, 2010

The preparations to facilitate the Conscious Convergence, July 17‐18, 2010 have now begun. Even if it will need the support and active collaboration of a large number of people the snowball has started rolling. Very possibly, this will become an event that influences the course of our civilization by setting the intention to manifest unity consciousness on a large scale with the ninth wave of the Maya calendars. I would then now like to share my own vision of the Conscious Convergence, and what it may accomplish, in an article that does not have too much technical detail.

Over the time period since the Harmonic Convergence in August of 1987, and maybe even earlier than that, an increasing number of people, and not just a few select mystics, have come to directly experience states of unity with all things and a purposeful direction in their own lives. Yet, although sometimes such experiences may have been enlightening or blissful, they have not come to alter the way our world at large operates. While this fact may not surprise us there is really no reason that this should be taken as a given. Such experiences, sometimes resulting from spiritual practices, have clearly been at odds with both the predominating materialist worldview and the one that sees the divine as something separate from ourselves. An increasing number of people have thus come to directly experience that some “energies” greater than themselves are working to provide guidance for them. In everyday parlance we talk about certain things having been “meant to happen” and other things “not meant to happen.” This direct experience of guiding energies is a relatively recent undercurrent of our civilization. It also intensifies as the frequency of shifts between calendrical energies increases as we approach the completion of the Mayan calendars. It is as if, through this frequency increase, the cosmic plan is now calling us to wake up and realize that we are here for a reason and that the universe has a plan. This ongoing awakening has generated a fairly widespread perception that the end of the Mayan calendars will bring a “shift in consciousness”.

Such experiences are of course made sense of in a multitude of different ways, sometimes in terms of divine intervention or astrology, depending on the individual. Yet, they always seem to imply that the universe has a higher purpose. The perception of such a purposeful direction may be the least common denominator for those that will chose to participate in the Conscious Convergence. On my own part I have come to understand what is “meant” and “not meant” to happen primarily from the broad perspective of the Mayan calendars, simply because of the vast body of scientific evidence showing that the energies these describe have been driving evolution in all of its aspects from the beginning of time.

In parallel with the increase in individual experiences of guidance there has also been a number of initiatives to organize meditations or other global spiritual events on special days that often focus on a positive cause such as peace. What I feel we need to realize however is that despite these experiences of individual or collective unity, those that embody them still remain largely fragmented. As yet, the intention to manifest unity consciousness has thus not been firmly anchored in our world. Someone who meditates is perceived as doing so as a private act and as part of his or her individual path. A meditation to heal the earth is seen as a basically uncommitted event of a day or two before things go back to “business as usual”. In society at large and its media it is relegated to a fringe phenomenon, despite the large number of people embracing it. I however feel that the Conscious Convergence will be, and has to be, a unique event that is something more than just another global meditation. It is about anchoring an intention to manifest unity consciousness on an ongoing basis.

The current fragmentation of both individuals and groups is a critical point. It is here I believe the Conscious Convergence will enter into the picture to give hope and visions for the future. Part of the reason that the intention towards unity consciousness has not been anchored in the consensus reality is that events may not have gathered a critical mass. I feel however that a more important factor has been that individual experiences and events have not always been perceived as steps in a cosmic time plan that has a clear direction towards unity consciousness. This absence of a context in time has probably had much more far reaching consequences than most people recognize. It has affected not only the role of those that have become awakened, but also a broad range of grass root movements focusing on progressive socioeconomic change. If such movements are unable to see how their aspirations are part of a cosmic time plan for the planet they too will be fragmented and their fruits often be temporary or incorporated in the already existing dualist civilization.

The fragmentation of the experiences of unity consciousness, and the absence of a collectively existing intention to manifest this, thus have consequences that go farther, much farther, than most people would tend to believe. It influences a very high number of organizations and projects that are potentially healthy to our planet because these, and the social movements they give rise to, exist without a context in time. All such movements that intend to manifest a world of unity consciousness may thus benefit from their participation in the Conscious Convergence exactly because this provides such a temporal framework. From this also follows an interest of the powers that be to suppress information about the Mayan calendar that may serve as inspiration and encouragement for those desiring a new course for our civilization.

The big media, including but not limited to Hollywood, have thus touted a distorted view of the Mayan calendar as simply a date in the future when something dramatic is supposed to happen. It is here almost irrelevant whether this change is seen as positive or negative, since such a view is so totally at odds with the Mayan calendar to begin with. The message of the media has thus been: “Do not take responsibility for co-creating the future! Just wait and see!” Nothing could be further from a Mayan perspective, and the truth, than an obsession with a singular date in the future, when something is supposed to just fall down on us from the sky. The Mayan calendar describes processes, processes that have been going on from the beginning of time and step by step have been lifting human beings to higher frames of consciousness. As part of this, humanity is now heading towards the initiation of a new process, the ninth wave, that is meant to take us to a place of unity consciousness where we have never been before. Hence, the solutions of the past are not particularly likely to be applicable and so we are now called to develop a new level of creativity.

The Mayan calendars have thus come to be perceived in a disempowering way, rather than as guiding tools for positive social and spiritual transformation. The reason for this is mainly that it is not generally known that there is not merely one, but in fact nine, calendars that are about to be completed. Each of these calendars describes a wave movement of evolution and it is the ninth of these that is designed to bring the unity consciousness that represents the current hope of mankind as it provides a necessary starting point for the birth of a new world. Yet, unless there is a conscious collective intention to affirm this ninth wave what is the likelihood that this will manifest? One might even ask whether without such an intention to manifest unity consciousness, anyone has reason to complain if it is not brought forth? To have this happen we need to align with this calendar in time, otherwise I believe we will lose our power to influence the course of events. The Conscious Convergence is thus set so that we will be able to prepare ourselves for the coming energies in advance and so be able to align with them. Unlike the Harmonic Convergence in 1987 that was a relatively spontaneous event, I, for one, believe that the Conscious Convergence in 2010, due to the current high speed of time, will need to be unified by a common intention in order to make a difference. As we approach the simultaneous manifestation of the nine waves there will be complicated overlappings of waves that may be difficult to surf without such a shared intention.

My vision for the Conscious Convergence is that it will be an event that helps people break out of the current constraints and fragmentation and facilitates for us to co‐create our future especially as now many of the established structures of society may be falling apart. With the impending unity consciousness many things that are not consistent with this are in fact becoming visible in the new light. An increasing number of people are losing faith in churches (Ireland and US), mosques (Iran) as well as bankers and politicians (all over), and so much of the previous functioning of the world may be overturned. It then becomes all the more important to establish an intention of manifesting unity consciousness as a basis for novel solutions. I however do not think that the Conscious Convergence is for those that contend themselves by pointing out and criticizing all the negative aspects of our current world and its system of rule. Rather it is for those that want to create a more positive intention, anchor this broadly and manifest it in the world.

An intention to manifest unity consciousness thus does not only serve to guide ourselves or our individual development, but here it also refers to the possibility that it may guide our civilization at large. Such a collectively shared intention held by a critical mass of people may start to live a life of its own and give a direction to a wide variety of projects. If this is to happen it is however critical that the intention is authentically held and not coming from a desire to look good in our own eyes, or in those of our friends, teachers or gurus. Only an intention authentically shared by a critical mass of sovereign individuals may play a positive role for co‐creating our future. Conscious Convergence then means that it is for people who are conscious of their intentions.

Unity consciousness does not mean conformism or that everyone is shaped in the same mold to think or look alike. Rather, unity consciousness will generate a world that is the very opposite to conformist. Because unity consciousness is about transcending the judgmental dualities and inherent dominance mentality generated by lower waves it allows for a much wider variety of viewpoints and life styles than previously. Thus, the Conscious Convergence refers to the coming together, convergence, of people from many different walks of life with very different backgrounds and viewpoints to express and experience a shared intention for the future.

The two initial days, July 17‐18, 2010, may be days for individual experiences of awakening as well as a collective expression of a new commitment to climb to the highest level of the Mayan calendar and co-­‐create a world truly based on peace. I for one however do not believe that the continued climb will be easy and no one knows exactly how long time it will take until the new world based on this new consciousness stabilizes. Yet, I also know that it is only through a shared intention aligned with the cosmic plan that there is any reasonable hope for a future. The Conscious Convergence is thus also about retrieving the Mayan calendar to its rightful place as a guide on the common path towards a world based on unity consciousness. In a time of dramatic change it becomes all the more important to have a firmly anchored intention to relate to as we approach the full completion of all nine calendars. I believe that only such an intention, existing on the level of our civilization, may serve to give us guidance in a time when the old social structures will very possibly disintegrate. The Hopi prophecy for instance urges us to gather ourselves and be good to each other. They warn that the time of the lone wolf is over. We can only survive if we cooperate on achieving common goals. This is obvious to any faithful Christian as well.

Many people realize that there will be a need to recreate our civilization in the time ahead and if nothing else a series of natural disasters have told people that this may now have reached a dead end. To get out of this dead end, many are suggesting profound changes of our current economic and social system in order for humanity to survive into a better world. This points to the Conscious Convergence also as an event for networking in a very broad sense. If the Conscious Convergence can gather people that are seeking this new direction and experience that they have the energies of the cosmic plan on their back then I would say that my vision of this event will have been fulfilled. It is however also part of my vision that millions will share their own visions based on this common intention of manifesting unity consciousness. The preparations for the ninth wave would allow many positive aspirations to be anchored in a purposeful process. When millions are taking the stand that there is a higher purpose to this planet than just to end in a series of disasters then I believe providence will move. When millions are showing each other that they too see a higher purpose to life, and intend to manifest it together, then a significant step towards the fulfillment of the cosmic plan will have been taken.

Carl Johan Calleman, 5 Jaguar.
Stockholm, March 27, 2010, 5 Ahau

Where did it go?

Mamaroneck Harbor

I had another weird experience this morning which I feel is really a shifting into/out of alternate realities. I went for my morning walk along the harbor and of course without a jacket or pocket, I carry my keys.  So after about 5 minutes I was consciously aware of the weight of the keys in my right hand and decided to shift them to the other hand. No I am not always so present with these types of actions, but on my walks–I think of them as moving meditations–I tend to be more so. 😉

So having decided to shift the keys to my left hand I did so…and instantly had the sensation in my right hand as if I had dropped something. So much so that I look to the ground to see whether I had! I had “forgotten” for several seconds that I moved the keys to my other hand, and yes, there they were, safe and sound, yet it “felt” like I had simply dropped “something.”

Keys to Changing Realities?

It may sound rather lame in describing this, however it was the weirdest sensation to make a conscious decision, act on it immediately and in the moment of doing so, instantly shift into a reality where I dropped “something,” presumably the keys. I felt as if I had shifted into another reality, even if only for an instant.

These moments happen to most of us at one time or another. I believe often times we are not aware of them, such as when we lose something knowing exactly where we put it, but then its not there– only to turn up somewhere completely different. Are we automatically just “losing it”…meaning our minds?? Sometimes, undoubtedly. But more and more I suspect that things which seem to appear and disappear need to be taken more at face value. That they may truly, be appearing and disappearing. And I believe this is happening with greater frequency as they layers between dimensions grow thinner, and we can shift more easily between them.

“I Believe in You”

As wonderful as these messages are, I also find it fascinating to feel the difference between those who are just saying it, and those who truly feel its message and send it out to you the viewer.

Let me assure you that as I “say” it now, to you, “I believe in you.” ….

can you feel it?

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