Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Archive for April, 2010

Crabby Old Man

I couldn’t help but share this with you! ……..

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Crabby Old Man

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. It’ s quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri .

The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you’re looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . ‘I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . . . . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . You’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . As I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . . . . … With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman’s beside me . . . . . To see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me … . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . And the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old man . . . . . And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age .. . . .. . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . .. . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . … Look closer . . . See ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet

An older person who you might brush aside

Without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!


The best and most beautiful things of

This world can’t be seen or touched.

They must be felt by the heart.


Recurring Dream Revealed

About once a month for at least a year I have been dreaming that I have an assignment that I have to attend to, but it is perpetually on the back-burner. I feel the inner calling to get to it, but day-to-day duties and responsibilities seem to prevent me from attending to it.

So in the dreams when I feel the pull I  go the special computer needed to download what I’d need in order to prepare a report, but I never get far. When the dreams first started I barely remembered what to do. Then I realized that I needed to access a database, but couldn’t remember how. Later I’d start running the reports, but again distractions of my “current job” would interrupt the process.

While these dreams were a curiosity, I never gave them much thought. I had been temping for two years, working with computers for decades, and the dreams felt like a holdover from some previous job I had, somehow calling out to me. There was never any external pressure within the dreams to complete the assignment, purely an internal one.

Two nights after I returned from Sedona I had the latest of these dreams–yet another example of the spiritual transitions that have been initiated on this trip–I awoke with a knowing that I’d not had about them before. The assignment is very real, although it is a spiritual, not third dimensional one. Why the thought never occurred to me before is beyond me, but there it is.

In this dream the scenario reflected the increase in vibrational frequency that I am experiencing and the transition that accompanies it. Once again I was looking to run the report, however I could not find the computer that the data was stored on. I ran into the “Director of IT from an old company” and asked where the computer was. He explained that it was moved to a new location, cleared and upgraded. I was distressed that this was done without my knowledge and asked him to take me there, which he did.

Don't judge a PC by its vintage.

The computer was now the only piece of technology in a remote location, housed in a large, new and modern building. It struck me as ironic as the computer was ancient by today’s standard’s, yet the only one that could do the task. “They” had wiped the memory clean, but were preparing to re-upload the software and data.

The knowing I had on waking was absolute: I am being called to carryout a spiritual assignment, even if I don’t currently have a clear conscious understanding of what that entails.

On further reflection I recognize that “download” in spiritual terms is receiving (channeling) information and that I must create a report (perhaps as in writing a book…or a blog 😉 .) I trust that with this conscious knowing, the next phases of this assignment will come into clearer view more quickly.

Almost There…

So there are many reasons that are contributing to the transition I am experiencing now. Much of it is conscious and to an unknown degree unconscious. I have been keenly aware of how this trip began with a full moon (completions) and ended on a new moon (new beginnings).

Shortly after arriving in Sedona I felt a profound sense of being at a transition point. In fact there were strong indications even before I left. On my last day at work, when I arrived at the office my odometer read 99,000. For those of you familiar with numerology, 9 is the number of completion, 99 is a master number which amplifies the frequency of completion, and zeroes behind any number will amplify this frequency even further! So the signs were there: a major shift is about to occur.

While our vacation was externally very peaceful and relaxing, on a spiritual level there was much going on for me. One of the things I did was to consciously integrate higher vibrational frequencies of alternate realities–selves that had or created experiences I wished to manifest in my timeline. I will be sharing several of them in the next few days.

What can I have now?

I will actually begin with the last one I synergized: the self that has overcome the snacking/ grazing habit that I’ve been battling with all my adult life. As I met this self and merged with this higher vibrational frequency I heard the message I could come back whenever I wished to, and that I am “almost there.”

What I noticed going back to work and in the evenings, I was not really that  interested in snacking. I was not over doing it. It was not that I was having nothing, but just not going overboard. The thoughts about “what can I have now” were not there. There was little or no desire to nosh. In the moment of noticing this shift I got the sense that I was…almost there 😉 How cool is that?!

Home Again

After an absolutely perfect vacation and equally perfect trip back to NY, we’re home again. Back at work, but feeling great. Relaxed and flowing with whatever. Straightening out some snafu’s, but nothing overwhelming.

What’s more amazing than the breezy readjustment in the traveling home,  the time change and being back in the office is how different I am.  I am here, but I’m not all there…LOL. And what’s more, I am very okay with it!

Whether its something about work, doing something at home or going on my lunchtime walk, I notice that what may have previously been on autopilot is now off. And apparently from time to time the human pilot is off somewhere too.

What surprises me is how okay I am with how I am. It actually feels good to not be in conscious control at all times.  So while I am home again, I am also not all home, and it’s a good thing!

Leavin' the light on for when I return

IF I return 😉

Free from Karma and Ego…

Another blogger I admire, Davidya, recently wrote insightfully about freedom from karma. It got me to thinking about several people I know who believed themselves to have achieved such a state of being, and my observations of them.

In my experience people who profess their karma is complete or being free from ego are often missing something very crucial. In fact in witnessing their interactions with others it would seem that either they have unwittingly created more karma and inflated their ego by placing themselves “above” others.

When I witness such a person shunned by people over and over again, who lose patience with their ways and expectations, and see that they then couch it as “they simply cannot be around my frequency,” I shake my head that they do not recognize something more is going on here.

If someone was told by another, or by guidance, that they were clear of ego and karma, and they then latch on to that proclamation as though consciousness is static, they have shut themselves off from a present moment awareness of what they are being.

Knowing this, when I find myself experiencing a moment when I have a sense of this, I remind myself to stay present to the moment, and then the next, and the next, knowing that I AM creates new in every moment.

Kid in a Candy Shop

Well, for me that is a crystal shop. I took more than an hour this morning to browse my favorite shop here in Sedona, Crystal Magic. While to some the many crystal shops seem much the same, I do find some dramatic differences.  Crystal Magic for me is the metaphysicians source, not the dabbler, the tourist, the art aficionado or the skeptics attraction.

What is the flavor of the day for you??

I was there last week and picked up some nice pieces that I needed at this time, but this time my intention was to pick up some pieces for my colleagues. What fun. My intention was to pick up a variety of 2 or 3 stones and let their inner knowing choose what was right for them.

I ended up with several pieces of  citrine (one is mine 😉 )

  • An abundance stone that improves manifestation skills while attracting prosperity.
  • A protection stone that draws negative energy, converts and dissipates it. Giving back positive energy.
  • Cleanses chakras, especially solar plexus. Activates crown chakra.

a couple of pieces of blue quartz

  • enhances a feeling of connectedness
  • magnified a sense of freshness and openness
  • erases fear

a couple of nice pieces of fluorite

  • master healer
  • brings order to chaos
  • helps to see both reality and truth behind illusion
  • clearing and renewal of chakras
  • third eye stone
  • orderly connection to psychic and spiritual growth
  • shields from negative energy
  • inspires universal energies to activate and nourish the body

also a couple of pieces of sulphur (one’s definitely for me)

  • a stone of energy and vitality which can help remove negative thoughts and feelings
  • help decrease illness by taking away the mental/emotional component
  • bring protection and purification. Is used in metaphysics to purify and detoxify environments, thoughts, and even the energy fields of people
  •  related primarily to the solar plexus chakra

In addition to these I discovered blue goldstone, a spectacularly beautiful stone described as

  • good for lifting depression and relieving anxiety
  • helps with pain and inflammation.
  • aids transformation of thoughts from one person to another.
  • helps remove or repel unwanted entities from your environment.
  • gemstone of wisdom and science, helping us remember the light within the darkness and showing us to reach for the stars.

as well as fulgurite–not an attractive piece, but something drew me to it. As I sat with it I felt enormous strength, grounding, power and centeredness. Going online I learned that it is formed when lightning strikes quartz sand!  The properties cited were

  • powerful tool for manifestation
  • facilitates letting go of anything blocking progress in our evolution
  • helps to connect to the frequencies of the divine

I also picked up a glittery fuchsia bumper sticker with an Angel on it:


my foundational paradigm, if ever I had one.

Care for some rock candy today???

Turn the Key, and Say Yes

In a meditation this morning, meeting with a self from an alternate reality, I clearly heard: Turn the Key, and Say Yes. Yes to the gifts of the universe, yes to manifesting for the highest good of all.

Which key, and when? Where? Is it an actual key or is it simply metaphorical?

Tonight my thoughts go back many years to a dream that has stayed with me for nearly 30 years: I was watching myself from the perspective of the courtyard in front of 630 East Lincoln. I watched as I threw (12) keys from my bedroom window. I don’t know why I threw them, just that they were very important. I tried to go back up to the apartment window to see where they dropped, but I couldn’t find them.

And perhaps for the first time, I wonder, why would I have thrown them out the window in the first place? (This was a younger self that did this, younger than I was at the time of the dream, and clearly reinforced by taking place in my childhood home.) A thought comes to me that perhaps it is so that the I that I am now needs to go back, understanding…feeling, no…KNOWING the importance of these keys, and retrieve them.

This dream, and the feelings I woke with has stayed with me all these years. And now, “turn the key.” I can’t help but wonder if this dream holds “the key.”  And if so, how do I go back?  How do I find them?

And now it occurs to me that perhaps finding the key is just the recognition that these keys are out there, and that perhaps the “turn” is simply to KNOW they are there/here and simply Say Yes. So this is what I will now do.

“I acknowledge the vital importance these keys are to me and own them now and always. I trust myself and this knowing…and say Yes. So let it be written, so let it be done.”




And as I conclude this post, music plays in the background: to everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn…   deep sigh.

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