Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Archive for physical reality

Sinking Into Neutral – (Part II)

I stand on the precipice of a monumental energy change, another exquisite transition, yet clueless as I approached the drop off…whooosh!

Dichotomy all around me! Finally manifesting my overwhelming dream to have a home to build my life within…with outdoor space (which I do not have now), only to suddenly recognize I’m confusing physical comfort and spiritual ease with the long-held “spiritual feel” of my home.

As I sink into neutral, feeling into the spaces of my new home, painted in navy blue, light grays, and mossy greens, with fixtures a deep bronze,  I mentally escape to the porch! Both Honey and I have been mentally getting away to our soon-to-be porch, breathing deeply, sinking into peaceful beingness and the sense of “ahhhh…” [And what are the colors which surround us there? Deep, rich green everywhere, blue, lavender and rose colored slate tiles which make up its foundation, and crisp white ceiling and rails which encircle us…] Will this be enough?? Can I live within the moss, navy, grays and bronze tones?

Is this what I’m supposed to be moving toward???

As I’ve contemplate this impending move and settling into a new home, I’ve begun to recognize the need to bring ME into the space. Part of bring ME is bringing my colors and sensibilities. Clearly there is a degree of integration with the deep earth tones which are too expensive to change (like the new heavy slab granite in the kitchen), but I’m coming to recognize that is the challenge for me… integrating ME, my energy and colors, with the grounded, earthy tones and frequencies, that to some degree I may have been resisting for quite some time.

For those of you who may be reading this and think I’m just speaking about decorating, please step back and recognize that this is merely an outer manifestation of the shifting vibrational frequencies of great change.

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Sinking Into Neutral… (Part I)

You just have no idea!

My life has done a 180 in 6 weeks time!! I went from chronic exhaustion to boundless energy for a multi-verse of major life changes–simultaneously! And I can still laugh, and talk and joke and seem to be able to handle it all.

Every step along the way has had its miracle, has created a spiritual thesis of sorts, handling this multi-verse of experiences pretty much in tact–by trusting, by feeling the signs, and being able to instantly suss out the next best action to spin into motion… until another sign comes along.

And now I have had an awakening that I’ve been feeling bubbling up for several days: I’m sinking into neutral…and I feel like I’m suffocating.  A literal embodiment of buying a new home which is “upgraded with neutrals.” While I can see beauty in them, I feel they draw the life energy from me!

So this evening I stand in my pastel blue,  lavender and white bathroom, thinking about my lavender-white colored living room, and deep green and white bedroom balanced with a wood clad wall… I recognize the ethereal space I created here which I loved…but have also been suffocating in (size and breadth)… and what I’ve been feeling for days and hit me full force tonight…after years of relentless inner craving for a larger home and outdoor space…I have one, just like that…and I’m surrounded by earth-tones. (Gasp!)

For days my husband I have been talking about how to make it our own…and even he expressed the desire to paint our new bedroom the same color as we’ve had it for years! And as I contemplate the changes I’d like to make to this room and that…I begin to question, am I supposed to be bringing that energy to the new house? Some how I feel…No. Yet that is not what my ego wants!  What? My ego?? Really??? I’m not seeing how in this moment…but I feel that is truth.

Okay,  now I’m confused!

Did I say “an Upgrade to NEUTRAL”????? ! Are you/Am I saying that the mass’ love affair with Neutral is an Upgrade?? Now I don’t mean to offend, but I have long felt strongly (really, STRONGLY?…could be ego…hhmmm) that Neutral has a low vibrational frequency. This is going to take me quite a while to feel my way through!!!

And the curriculum for tonight is…

Something quite interesting has been going on. It seems I’m undergoing some sort of “orientation” into other realms in the last week or so.

I have long been aware of “attending” various classes or seminars during sleep state, and periodically have some recall of this. Lately however there has been greater recall about the nature of the curriculum. Several nights ago I was paired with someone and we were in a realm of instantaneous experience of our thoughts and “words.” Nothing was “taught” in a traditional sense. We just noticed how things responded to our thoughts and after two or three such experiences it became clear to us that we were in this “special” realm. A label is unimportant to me, but I did enjoy the ability to simply think something into existence.

Then I expressed the thought: “I wonder how long they will let us play here.” That’s when I woke up. I realize upon reflection that this thought had an underlying doubt that I could simply continue to be here, that it was going to “end”–and so it did. Point made–lesson learned!

Last night was far more powerful however. While I don’t recall much detail, I was on some kind of experiential course in which every experience/ lesson was an exquisite orientation to a specific human emotion. It was pure, clear and like an experiential dictionary of human emotions. There was no judgment of any emotion–it simply was. Through each experience there was recognition of something I knew, yet it was as if this was the very first time I experienced it!

 

Just Feel It

 

At one point I woke as I had to go to the bathroom. I was so disoriented in the physical realm, I clearly felt that much of my consciousness was elsewhere and the sensations were clearly not of this realm. I was fascinated and pleased, and wanted to go back and explore more of this experiential “handbook” for being human.

Looking forward to discovering what tonight’s curriculum is!

Circling Around

So I’ve been having this series of dreams for many months now, ones in which my husband returns after long periods of being AWOL, or ones in which I’m in the midst of one of these periods where he is gone, when I’m truly feeling the loss. There were times when he taunted me with his disdain, and other times when he took for granted that it would be okay with me to simply “return” as if he’d never been away. Anger, hurt and deep loss have been prominent emotions for me during this series. I have come to see these dreams as tapping into alternate aspects of myself and my husband that I am integrating into my consciousness–painful though they are. Several nights ago things went a step further.

This time I knew my husband had a one night stand or brief fling with a younger woman, although I also knew that this was not someone he cared about. I was livid! I reacted violently towards him, scratching, beating, clawing at him…whatever I could do. Then, this girl showed up–with pictures! I grabbed them and looked at them (calmly, oddly enough) and wouldn’t let my husband see them. I ripped them up, then ripped into the girl.

As I was taking my scorn out on each of them I seemed to get a visual in front of me as to how I was injuring each on an energetic basis. It wasn’t really about physical injury. Neither fought back. Neither protested.

FURY!

Upon waking I reflected for quite sometime on this “newest” alternate reality. It wasn’t until hours later that I was struck by the lingering “difference” that I was aware of in these dreams. In each of them my husband was at least 20 years younger, and far more cavalier towards me. What’s more I suddenly “knew” that in these dreams, I was his FIRST wife, whereas now, I am his second wife.

And yes, I must confess that I was with him before his marriage completely dissolved, and that I witnessed him treat his first wife in a way that I often times felt was insensitive, even hurtful (although nothing as blatant as I experienced in my dream).

So here I am, witnessing and participating in the same dynamic, taking on the other role and venting my wrath. And I am led to wonder if the physical issues that I went through 11 years ago, and that my husband struggled with for the last two are a result of this coming full circle, reaping the (self-inflicted) energetic and physical injuries that I inflicted on this “other woman.” No judgment about it, but it certainly gives me pause…

Change, Change, Change: Experiencing the Possibilities

There is something I want more than anything else. Until I want something completely different…than I did a minute ago.

To say I don’t know my own mind and heart is the furthest from the truth, yet its absolutely true! I know what’s in my mind and heart absolutely, but then something changes. And changes again, and again, and again! I’ve come to the conclusion that at least for now, its a good thing I am not creating what I want immediately, as it won’t “be right” 5 minutes from now.

I suspect it’s the increasingly high vibrational frequencies we are downloading. The sense I have is that it’s like what has been described before another exquisite transition, death–having your life flash before your eyes, only in reverse–the possibilities flash before your eyes, and heart and mind.

But it’s exhausting! I remind myself over and over to stay in the present moment. But present moment is stale and decaying, and at the same time contains these ever-flashing possibilities! So I tend to focus on them.

Infinite Possibility

What I am coming to realize is that I need to take each possibility and thoroughly revel in it. Have it be absolutely real for however long it lasts, until the next one shows up and I do the same with that. Slowly, it’s ceasing to be about manifesting it in this third dimensional reality, and just experiencing the possibility fully and completely. Isn’t that the definition of manifesting it anyway?

FOOTNOTE: When I went to publish this post something very unusual happened.  I received a message that the connection with the server failed while I was attempting to load the page, and then a video popped open of the last 15 seconds of Susan Boyle’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent: all that was shown and heard was “….I dreamed,” and applause accompanied by stunned silence and a standing ovation. I’m still shaking my head in awe…

Physical Recoil Transfigured

The sight of a dead animal by the side of the road, a wrecked car, even an uprooted tree is likely to cause a gut wrenching recoil for most people. In all likelihood, most of us instantly start imagining what happened, or what might have happened, that it could have been us or a loved one. We may well feel profound sadness or intense outrage. These seem particularly prevalent when the death (or injury) is a violent one. This is what I encountered recently when I repeatedly came upon a series of dead birds. As I wrote in my previous posting, Messages of Exquisite Transition, I came to recognize that they messages were truly divine ones, that I may well have completely missed due to an inbred reaction to death.

Once I recognized that something was happening on an exceptionally deep level, I made an instant connection with profound inner work that I had done some ten years ago. Late in 1999 I was unexpectedly diagnosed, on the operating table, with ovarian cancer. I awakened to learn that the doctors had found cancer and I was given a complete hysterectomy. I was able to process the physical healing from the surgery, the side effects of chemotherapy, and the mental healing from this news and all its ramifications in the weeks and months that followed this development.

What was most difficult for me to integrate was the absolute finality of the reality that I would never be a mother. I tried desperately to pursue adoption, however ultimately my husband confessed that even under these circumstances he could not in good conscience adopted when he felt that he would never be able to feel 100% that an adopted child was his. When I finally accepted this, I was left with the gut wrenching realization that despite a lifelong assumption that I would certainly be a mother, it was not to be.

I tried everything I knew to resolve this loss. I would peel away a layer here, and another there, yet the feeling ran exceptionally deep. Ultimately I was able to identify with the part of myself, the part of all of us, that at a species level, installed this drive, this instinct if you will, into our cells, within our very DNA, in order to insure the perpetuation of human kind. Whoa. That was huge! And it took doing that, in order to release the grip of that cellular programming to vastly reduce this instinctive desire.

So here I am once again, faced with the recognition of an instinctive reaction–this time, to death. Only this time the work was minimal. As I recognized it was the same dynamic, it was nearly instantaneous for me to release this stranglehold of cellular programming. Given I already have the spiritual knowing that death is not something to be feared, but to be embraced as a transition into another form, I merely needed to own that the recoil response to death was chosen by us–as a species in formation–at a time when we needed to preserve an instinctive drive to preserve life at all cost.

And the universe was prepared to test my release of this recoil reaction immediately. As I did my morning walk I was repeatedly guided to take different paths from my usual routine. As I neared the end of my walk I was led directly to a dead bird lying in the middle of the sidewalk, on this “new path” home. This time I walked up and smiled. I blessed the bird, I thanked the universe for this Exquisite Transition showing me divine blessings in all its forms, and I walked the rest of the way home.

Gulf Call to Sacred Action–TODAY!

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Sylvia,

I’m writing to extend a personal invitation to my call today, the last of the Sacred Awakening Series Next Wave, which turned out quite beautifully. It’s now at 11:30 am Pacific time (2:30 pm Eastern).

I moved to accommodate an important 10 am event for the Gulf Call to Sacred Action, which features Deepak Chopra and others (more on that below).

Even if you can’t join my call live, when you register you’ll get access to the recoding to listen to at your convenience.  In either case, register here.

During my call, I’ll share my own reflections and insights into the process of sacred awakening, including what is working in my life and what I’ve been learning from others.  I’ll also share what I personally learned from each of our 15 featured emerging leaders this week.

In addition, I’ll make space for you to ask me whatever questions are on your heart.  At 12:30 we will put people into groups who would like to connect with other people who have been drawn to the Sacred Awakening Series and share insights, while the rest are welcome to ask me questions until the last question is answered or 1:30.

The reason for the later start time is to accommodate what I expect will be a lot of interest (including my own) in a first call of a 3-part series called the Gulf Call to Sacred Action, which features Deepak Chopra, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Michael Beckwith and other key voices, including many featured on The Shift Network. You can register for the call and the full series here:

Gulf Call to Sacred Action

I see the Gulf Call as an important initiative to focus the energy of all of us conscious evolutionaries on the Gulf in our most positive way. The call tomorrow is “Setting Our Sacred Intention” and will include Jean Houston and Lynne McTaggart’s wisdom as well.

I just got the sense last night that I should move mine and also let people know about this one since it’s important to participate in the three part series if possible.  I apologize for the late notice

I hope you can end up joining both calls for as much as you are called, or at least register for both and get the downloads.

Please do share this invitation with friends and allies – all are warmly welcomed to participate in either call. I look forward to sharing more deeply my own path and experience with you!

In spirit,

Stephen Dinan
Founder and CEO, The Shift Network

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P.S. The Sacred Awakening Series: Next Wave gives you access to recordings of the following leaders:

Brian Johnson, Mallika Chopra, Ocean Robbins, Stuart Davis, Angel Kyodo Williams, Stacey Lawson, Mariana Caplan, Fiona Fay, Sadhvi Bhagwati, Vanessa Stone, Evon Peter, Coumba Toure, Trish Bruxvoort Colligan, Robert Browning, Stephen Dinan

As well as access to the full library of previous featured leaders:

Abdul Aziz-Said, Andrew Harvey, Angeles Arrien, Dr. A. T. Ariyaratne, Ariel Spilsbury, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Bhikku Bodhi, Bishop John Shelby Spong, Chunyi Lin, Dattatreya Shiva Baba, Gangaji, Genpo Roshi, Grandmother Agnes Baker Pilgrim, Grandmother Flordemayo, Isha Judd, James O’Dea, Jean Houston, Julia Butterfly Hill, Jyoti, Kali Ma, Kyriacos Markides, Leslie Temple Thurston, Luisah Teish, Marianne Williamson, Matthew Fox, Michael Tamura, Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb, Rabbi Yehuda Berg, Rev. James Trapp, Rev. Michael Dowd, Sadhguru, Saniel Bonder & Linda Groves Bonder, Sequoyah Trueblood, Sheikha Ayshegul Ashki, Shiva Rea, Sobunfu Some, Stanislav Grof, Stephen Dinan & Devaa Haley Mitchell, Swamiji Chidananda Saraswati, Tenzin Robert Thurman

Series Co-sponsors: YES!, Intent, Unity, MaestroConference, Dream University, The Shift Movie, Philosopher’s Notes, Spiritual Cinema Circle,  Center for Sacred Studies, Integrative Spirituality, and Intention Media

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