Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Archive for guilt

Butterfly Guilt

When asked about how often I blog I’ve explained: Whenever the spirit or a knowing moves me to do so.

Does this extended absence here mean nothing’s going on? Absolutely not. It does mean that the exquisite awareness-clearing-healing hasn’t blossomed yet. It appears that once again, the cocoon is bursting open…

Since May I have found myself in a situation in which I am “forced” to experience abundance. This may sound like a joke, but like MANY of us, I am extremely uncomfortable with living within abundance. All along there has been an undercurrent of “something.” Until tonight I couldn’t put my finger on what this undercurrent was. Tonight it broke through like the butterfly breaking free from its cocoon… guilt!

In speaking with my honey as we often do…projecting ourselves into an alternate reality in which we can both clearly see, feel and KNOW what’s happening, I found myself identifying a sense of needing to apologize to my in-laws for what they must see as this sudden abundance. [At the same time I am clear that I don’t owe them an explanation!]

So it would seem this butterfly has firm sense of boundaries, all the while nursing a mass conscious creation of something being  sinful, wrong, superficial, materialistic…about abundance. Mind you I am very clear to say abundance vs (material) wealth. They may look the same, but they are not the same. There in lies the problem.

I reflect and I recognize my situation is one of abundance which was forced upon me and any attempt to side step this experience would have gone against everything I believe in. And it just now strikes me that this is the irony…what I truly believe in is Abundance! I believe that each of us has a right to have their basic needs fulfilled. Yet currently the majority must suffer in order to attempt to fulfill these needs. That is counter-intuitive. And immoral. And the antithesis of Abundance.

While our systems of government/politics and finance/economics twists us into a moral personnel dilemma about paying your own way, “personal responsibility” even–the higher truth that underlies it is: every Being deserves to have their basic needs met. That has very strong political and economic implications, if we were to let that little secret out…so we plant seeds of doubt and judgment toward demonstrations of true abundance–even our own.

Ah well, not my problem anymore. I’ll leave it to the rest of these blooming cocoons to awaken to this themselves… now let’s see what’s going on over here…….

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