Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Archive for frequency

Sinking Into Neutral… (Part I)

You just have no idea!

My life has done a 180 in 6 weeks time!! I went from chronic exhaustion to boundless energy for a multi-verse of major life changes–simultaneously! And I can still laugh, and talk and joke and seem to be able to handle it all.

Every step along the way has had its miracle, has created a spiritual thesis of sorts, handling this multi-verse of experiences pretty much in tact–by trusting, by feeling the signs, and being able to instantly suss out the next best action to spin into motion… until another sign comes along.

And now I have had an awakening that I’ve been feeling bubbling up for several days: I’m sinking into neutral…and I feel like I’m suffocating.  A literal embodiment of buying a new home which is “upgraded with neutrals.” While I can see beauty in them, I feel they draw the life energy from me!

So this evening I stand in my pastel blue,  lavender and white bathroom, thinking about my lavender-white colored living room, and deep green and white bedroom balanced with a wood clad wall… I recognize the ethereal space I created here which I loved…but have also been suffocating in (size and breadth)… and what I’ve been feeling for days and hit me full force tonight…after years of relentless inner craving for a larger home and outdoor space…I have one, just like that…and I’m surrounded by earth-tones. (Gasp!)

For days my husband I have been talking about how to make it our own…and even he expressed the desire to paint our new bedroom the same color as we’ve had it for years! And as I contemplate the changes I’d like to make to this room and that…I begin to question, am I supposed to be bringing that energy to the new house? Some how I feel…No. Yet that is not what my ego wants!  What? My ego?? Really??? I’m not seeing how in this moment…but I feel that is truth.

Okay,  now I’m confused!

Did I say “an Upgrade to NEUTRAL”????? ! Are you/Am I saying that the mass’ love affair with Neutral is an Upgrade?? Now I don’t mean to offend, but I have long felt strongly (really, STRONGLY?…could be ego…hhmmm) that Neutral has a low vibrational frequency. This is going to take me quite a while to feel my way through!!!

Does Anyone Still Question the Significance of the 9th Wave?

I shared on a blog that I had a kick ass start to the 9th wave on 3-9-11. By that I mean I was on my ass for 2 days! Went to bed feeling great on 3-8, only to be followed immediately by intestinal cramps, vomiting, etc, sweats, profound weakness, constant leg cramps…

All the while consciously saying, is this what the rest of the 9th wave will be like for me?? WT…hell? I considered 3D causes, yet none of them felt right. By the end of yesterday, 3-11-11, I came to the conclusion that I was sensing on the 9th what was about to manifest on the 11th–an 8.9 earthquake in Japan, global tsunami alerts, and nuclear power plant emergencies. Unlike others, I have never experienced this before (at least knowingly). But this time it was the only thing that felt “right.”

Time and again we have seen how it takes these kinds of tragedies to open humanities hearts wide and bring out our highest nature and generosity. Coming a heartbeat after the uprisings in the Middle East, revolts in the US, seeing the uptick in vibrational frequency is readily apparent.

What I am awed by is the reports, for example in Egypt, after 18 days of standing steadfast, they had a day of cleaning! In Japan, so many witnesses claimed the same thing: people remained calm.

That things are changing is clear, welcomed, necessary and inevitable. That people who are effecting and affected by these changes are handling things in “higher” ways, is to me, remarkable! THAT speaks to me about the underlying strengthening of the Unified High Heart of Humanity’s growing Galactic Consciousness.

Let It Flow, or How Not to Get Stuck in Someone Else’s “Stuff”

I had a thyroid biopsy today and everything looks good. (More indepth analysis will be done, but the prelimary look-see was all good.) 

I had no anxiety, no fear, no concern whatsoever about this being anything but an exercise that one has to go through…until I got to the radiology place. When I got there I stepped into their restroom and was whallopped with unexpected and powerful emotions. The tears came before I knew it and kept flowing. Suddenly I was in a place of anxiety and fear of the future, of another medical crisis and the unknown.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

My husband tried to comfort me and I tried to deal with the feelings and the tears that simply would not stop, even while no thoughts ran through my head. It was at least another 1/2 hour before I was taken in and the preliminary test started when I had a knowing that these feelings were not my own. I was picking up on the thousands of people that come through the waiting room, often to be quietly released in its restroom. I was literally in a place of anxiety and fear. Instantly I experienced a shift within, my perspective changed, and I came back into my own. This confirmed for me that what I felt was not a sudden surge of suppressed fear, but a sensitivity to the imprints of the location–a location that clearly needs to be energetically cleared on a regular basis, but unfortunately the medical professionals there are oblivious to this level of contamination.

Sometime ago I began to recognize this state of “thought-free emotions” as something that just needs to be allowed to flow. Our penchant for trying to understand “why? what does this mean?” inhibits the energy-in-motion and is largely responsible for getting stuck in them. In allowing the emotion to flow and resisting the urge to ask “why,” I believe I was able to quickly let this e-motion to move through me, and then be open to the clarity that this energy was not “mine” — an important reminder for me of the energetic frequency of “place,” and the potential to get swept up in the imprinted emotions of those that came before.

Sunlight Through the Pouring Rain

A rainy, peaceful day in New York today. I woke relishing the calm cleansing rain, which harmonized gloriously with my intention to nurture my need to clear myself and my space of the week(s) passed. No pressure, just flowing with each moment.

This evening I was guided to read my friend Sheryl’s blog on the energy of the day: December 12, 2010 — 12/12/10. I was very much aware of the date and the significance, but was more focused on simplying doing what was essential for me to do for myself. Turns out they were very much one and the same. Please read the Spirit Speaks post here: 12- 12 Special Offer.

While I didn’t wake up with an abundance of energy, I did have an intention to be gentle with myself all day and do as I felt guided to do. I was led to continue the reorganization and cleaning of my desk area at home, got rid of several things which serve no purpose any more, and was guided to put this lovely, rhinestoned picture frame…that was ladden with dust…to perfect use.

When I looked at it I knew…I need to make it my “vision board” to anchor in the house and the car that I have recognized to “be me.” Sounds very materialistic, I know. And yet there’s a feeling to it of manifesting “me” FULLY into the world. A car that completely reflects who I am, and a home that supports my spiritual and emotional needs: expansiveness AND coziness, light and joyfulness.

My dreams of late have been directly addressing being willing to receive, and in fact, being willing to stand up for what is rightly mine. No emotion to it–just standing up for me.

After making this inspiring and magically vision board (in a 5″ x 7″ frame) I took a nap. In this dream I was receiving bids on this house, seeming to work for the realtor. Although I knew I’d get a commission if it sold, I knew that more than the commission, I wanted the house.

No emotional attachment to the money itself; deep attachment to the experience of finding the perfect expression of my frequency to live within and to move through the world in.

Being guided to read Sheryl’s piece tonight awakened me to the significance of what happened today, like sunlight through the pouring rain 🙂 Everything was already here. The dream today, and the other truly powerful ones I’ve been having the last week or so…all these experiences powerful unto themselves, but some how I felt them to be too insignificant to share. As Denise La Fey writes about in her recent posts, there are many ways in which the Dark can confront the growing Light–it seems, one of them is to convince you its not that big a deal.

Thank you Ladies for helping me see the rain, enjoy the rain, and see the Light through it All.

Side note: when going online to find an appropriate image of “sunlight through the rain” the first images that came up were this:

precisely where our Home awaits...

Change, Change, Change: Experiencing the Possibilities

There is something I want more than anything else. Until I want something completely different…than I did a minute ago.

To say I don’t know my own mind and heart is the furthest from the truth, yet its absolutely true! I know what’s in my mind and heart absolutely, but then something changes. And changes again, and again, and again! I’ve come to the conclusion that at least for now, its a good thing I am not creating what I want immediately, as it won’t “be right” 5 minutes from now.

I suspect it’s the increasingly high vibrational frequencies we are downloading. The sense I have is that it’s like what has been described before another exquisite transition, death–having your life flash before your eyes, only in reverse–the possibilities flash before your eyes, and heart and mind.

But it’s exhausting! I remind myself over and over to stay in the present moment. But present moment is stale and decaying, and at the same time contains these ever-flashing possibilities! So I tend to focus on them.

Infinite Possibility

What I am coming to realize is that I need to take each possibility and thoroughly revel in it. Have it be absolutely real for however long it lasts, until the next one shows up and I do the same with that. Slowly, it’s ceasing to be about manifesting it in this third dimensional reality, and just experiencing the possibility fully and completely. Isn’t that the definition of manifesting it anyway?

FOOTNOTE: When I went to publish this post something very unusual happened.  I received a message that the connection with the server failed while I was attempting to load the page, and then a video popped open of the last 15 seconds of Susan Boyle’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent: all that was shown and heard was “….I dreamed,” and applause accompanied by stunned silence and a standing ovation. I’m still shaking my head in awe…

Scary thoughts

TOUGH DAY

Yesterday was a tough day! Especially for a Saturday.  And as the second of the two-day Conscious Convergence event I had an expectation (first clue) that I should be feeling in a particularly high frequency space. Yet it was quite the opposite.

Setting out for my morning moving meditation down to the harbor and around, my heart felt heavy. Being a Saturday I had the opportunity to sit at the waterside for a while, but rather than feeling peaceful I was restless and sad. I repeatedly acknowledged these feelings and brought myself back to focusing on Unity. I finally recognized that first one (meaning “I”) must acknowledge and release the feelings of restlessness vs peace, sadness vs joy, desire vs resistance, right vs wrong and on and on.

Of course I’ve been through this exercise many times before, but in time one gets caught up in whichever polarity and can easily forget that residing in one side of the polarity maintains the other side also. As I recognized and released these I began to feel a sense of moving through and beyond duality. Again questioning my contribution to anchoring “Unity,” I got a clear answer “it is done.” Behind the thought was a knowing that Unity already is and that I know this in my soul. The sadness, the duality that is/was moving through me is a releasing of vestiges to fully manifest this Unity in the here and now. So as I continued my walk, I still felt an aura of sadness, but without a label…just an is-ness.

THE SCARY PART

Later in the day I was confronted with more dualistic issues on the home front, which unleashed another wave of heavy-heartedness! Sad and angry I managed to communicate without rage or blame, but still there was this sadness that was from beyond me.

This sadness was morphing into thoughts that were clearly from beyond the me I know myself to be. I began to have unbidden thoughts of slitting my wrists! I didn’t want to kill myself, and yet I would see blood at my wrists, or have a sense of wanting to take something sharp to my wrists! And I knew it wasn’t me! Now mind you I know that there are people “out there” who would interpret this as some sort of possession, of the biblical kind or indicating mental illness, depending on ones leanings.

But for me, after letting go of the scariness of these thoughts and visions, it was a recognition of another me, an alternate me, in some other timeline, going through something that was leading “me/her” to such thoughts and probably actions. It went so far as my being drawn to lie down in my bathtub to have a good cry (so I felt), yet it fit with the visions of slitting my wrists, and feeling into this lower frequency reality.

As I said–scary. But I KNEW this was NOT my reality.  I was sensing/feeling/seeing it, knowing that the reason was for me to offer MY STRENGTH, MY FAITH, MY INNER BALANCE AND PEACE to that alternate me. The feeling quite clear that while the desire and actions were there, the intent to end that life was not strong, not determined. Therefore I imagine that my awareness of this alternate reality was so that I could lend my abilities, my higher frequencies if you will, to raise the frequencies of the alternate me–so she could know that this was not the way to deal with the feelings she/we were experiencing.

After getting out of the tub the feelings, thoughts and visions ended. There was a sense of greater peace about me. Once I fell asleep I slept well and woke up feeling like “me” again.

Free from Karma and Ego…

Another blogger I admire, Davidya, recently wrote insightfully about freedom from karma. It got me to thinking about several people I know who believed themselves to have achieved such a state of being, and my observations of them.

In my experience people who profess their karma is complete or being free from ego are often missing something very crucial. In fact in witnessing their interactions with others it would seem that either they have unwittingly created more karma and inflated their ego by placing themselves “above” others.

When I witness such a person shunned by people over and over again, who lose patience with their ways and expectations, and see that they then couch it as “they simply cannot be around my frequency,” I shake my head that they do not recognize something more is going on here.

If someone was told by another, or by guidance, that they were clear of ego and karma, and they then latch on to that proclamation as though consciousness is static, they have shut themselves off from a present moment awareness of what they are being.

Knowing this, when I find myself experiencing a moment when I have a sense of this, I remind myself to stay present to the moment, and then the next, and the next, knowing that I AM creates new in every moment.

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