Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

On Hold… but Happy :)

A fellow blogger was sweet enough to inquire if I was alright recently, as I’ve been rather quiet here. I’ve been feeling like I just don’t have much to say at the moment. It’s either that or I’ve been sharing them in the moment with folks I work with and the moment’s over 😉 . Or I’ve been telling myself I don’t have any interesting insights or experiences to share. [Partially true.]

Well, what I have been thinking for quite some time, all though it didn’t sound like anything “post-worthy,” I feel like life is on hold. There are many things I’d like to do, as it relates to my home, going back to school, writing.., but I am always left with a feeling, there are so many things up in the air, I don’t want to start something without having a clearer sense of what the next bend in the road will bring. I’ve been feeling indecisive for the first time in my life. It seems that what I want changes by the hour. So I ride the waves of fluctuating (un)certainty and try not to get whiplash along the way.

My parents are elderly–Dad turns 90 in 2 weeks! Their health is in decline, and my concerns for them are on the increase. I feel like any day my life can be turned upside down and my husband, the kitties and I may have to pick up and move in with them (or more likely, one of them).

My job is wonderful, but very likely to end 6/30 of next year, as the grant is out and is not likely to be extended again. I am interviewing for another job, however that process is going very slowly, and I question whether it is really the right job for me.

In this recent interview process I have come to learn still more about myself, and what is important to me in the arena of “work.” Many things were very clear from the get-go: a harmonious work environment, good group of people who share mutual respect, as well as not taking life and work too seriously–meaning, they know how to have fun too. A good balance of work skills, as in working with people, but also to have responsibilities that are independent of dealing with people. (I need to have some time a way from others, in order to rebalance myself.)

And I like being responsible for things, like office equipment, supplies, technology and the like, vs people who are so darn fickle, and get under my skin if they lack a good work ethic. That’s one of the things I recalled recently when thinking about my days as an HR Manager years ago. Don’t want it! Ruins my day. I love not caring if Sally comes in late or not…not my problem 😉 Doesn’t bother me unless I am waiting for something from her to do what I need to do!

And at the top of my list, probably because these other things were a “given” for me, was a stress-free commute. I’ve been very fortunate in that way for the last several years, and it makes a HUGE difference in my life.

But I digress. My apologies. What I’d really like to say is that I’m in a really good place these days, even with some dissatisfaction about things within my home that I’d like to replace or update, lack of space etc. I look forward to going to work, every day. And likewise, I look forward to coming home, every night. It feels like a very good balance! At work I exercise my skills, competencies and receive in exchange appreciation and acknowledgment.  At home I come back into my own, enjoy my husband and my girls and it feels like a whole ‘nother day in a way. Each joy-filled and balanced in their own right.

The sense of imminent change surrounds me. There is much I want to change, and much I know will change at some point. But for now, my life is on hold. Thankfully I am very content. Perhaps that is the part of me that is holding change at bay: I don’t want to lose the happy balance I now have.

Don't Upset the Balance, Please

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5 Comments»

  tasinator wrote @

I know what you mean about walking that tightrope and wondering what’s next. With any luck, and your great skill at balancing things, it will be wonderful whatever it is 😉

  shamballa9944 wrote @

That’s certainly my intention and greatest hope. Thanks for dropping in 🙂

  helena wrote @

I feel ths too, the sense of what to expect is open, but seems to promise to be right and good. How about others? Do we all feel this way? thanks Sylvia, for finding the words to describe it.

  Slowvelder wrote @

Wow – sounds like a really good place to be 🙂
Glad you are fine 🙂
J

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Thank you 🙂 It is.


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