Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Go Google Yourself!

Do you ever Google yourself? It’s a good idea to do from time-to-time. Today I actually discovered 1 other woman with my name, the only other woman with my (married) name actually, who happens to also be from this area, and is a holistic health adviser and yoga instructor. Now, I’m neither of those, however both these arenas are very much akin to my worldview and resonate with who I am. Coincidence? Vibrations within a name? … I digress.

So in Googling myself this morning I came upon an article I wrote back in 1998 for The Avatar Journal. I read it with interest as I knew where it was going, however I had forgotten some of the insights I gleaned from the experience I wrote about. Finding this was a small gift unto itself, as I caught a glimpse of a former, yet very familiar self, appreciating the self-awareness and growth that takes place when you are paying attention…

Spring 1998

What Do You Think Feel About Semantics?

Many years ago, I held the position of Personnel and Office Manager for a mid-sized importing business. I reported directly to the controller, who, by the way, considered his title a summarized job description. Despite this fact, we got along because he treated me with respect and turned to me for input. I remember him fondly.

Despite these fond memories and despite working closely with him for seven years, one incident stands out. It came to mind the other day as I was re-reading something in Section II of The Avatar Course.

For his review, I had given the Controller a key letter I had written. Everything was acceptable to him except for my choice of one word. I had concluded the letter with my recommendation: “In light of…I feel…” My boss told me that feel did not sound professional. According to him it should be replaced with think.

I made the change but was disturbed by a sense that it was apparently unacceptable to be perceived as feeling. From then on each time I wrote something in my business woman identity, I had to stop when I naturally would have written feel and replace it (reluctantly) with think. It felt like I was out of integrity with myself, somehow telling myself that it was not okay to feel in the office. I had been given a picture, of what I should be to carry around when I was at work. I continued to use the word think so as not to create waves in what appeared to be an accepted attitude in business.

Several years later I took The Avatar Course. Upon returning to the business world after the course, now in a position with another firm, I faced the word feel from an even deeper, experiential perspective which one discovers during The Avatar Course. Again working within the parameters of the editorial edict to write as a professional, I felt the misalignment between my inclination to feel and the prescribed think stance. Then a realization hit: I believe.

Initially I would write I believe with some hesitation. Would this be acceptable in the business realm? Later it flowed from my pen naturally without any sense of creating a conflict between my professional self vs. me. I don’t know whether I discreated this dichotomy of selves, the idea that professionals prickle at the notion of feeling, or just created that believing was open to the reader’s interpretation.

Of course, the entire question was my creation in the first place. While it may seem a small matter that one statement from a former boss led me on an expedition in experiencing a separate artificial identity, one that never felt (there’s that word again) true to me. Avatar helped me to bring these separate selves together, in harmony. I no longer had to be anything but me. What a relief!

So I am left wondering: is it just a case of semantics, or is it more? What do you believe?



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9 Comments»

  tasinator wrote @

I, too, have been chided for using the word “feel” and so resort to the word “believe” or “recommend”. I also wish that companies would stop dictating how we express ourselves…

Interesting that you found someone with your name that also shared your avocations/occupations. I also ran into that (there is another Tricia Anne Sullivan who is the author of several well-known SciFi books;-)

  shamballa9944 wrote @

😉 Got to be something to it!

  Mushfique wrote @

oh yes! i have been doing that for a long time!! sometimes i see my blog but most of the time it comes up with other influential persons like the cricketer of bangladesh and some bloggers.
good to see people with my name!

  helenaack wrote @

This was interesting, and I was holding a question in my mind for using the word Believe, in my own last blog posting. I meant it as, a tentative, so far, conclusion, not entirely known. But, where I am in trying to say this, so far.

On Feel and think, I found I had a different aspect of Mind than of Soul. In astro terms, fixed modes of Mind were thought, knowing, imagination, and ego, or identity as reflected to me from others and the situation. Not at all the same as my inner sense of who I am. We have both, we use both. In a situation, it is how we are perceived that can best be used for inter-active expression. In that situation, your boss would see others as needing to express in thought, not in feelings, even if within yourself, “feel” would have been the actual word you meant. I do not see it to be a false identity, as much as the identity for that situation. I believe that I write my own views quite differently to different people. Not just for how I see them, but also for how I sense they see me. To make connections, rather than to go too far outside any reference points.

Soul had mutable modes of emotion, empathy, insight and wisdom, wisdom coming out of discretion, discernment. Not just the facts, or reality, but the meaning behind the words. Common sense seemed more the practicality of wisdom, not the intellectual acumen.

Soul and Mind were separate aspects of myself, actually, not self-made divisions, but aspects to be integrated keeping all that they were and are.

On identities, I was different as a daughter than a wife, or a mother. I was different as a classmate, or with a teacher, or with a friend. I think we all are and have to be. But, inside, our sense of self stays the same, and grows.

I experience that the Cardinal modes are more the ones of the self, the inner self, awareness, perception, all our senses and what we make of them, the actual first hand experiences we have, prior to memory of them or words to describe them.

Feeling was a function we had named for Cardinal Cancer. Once I attended a seminar about Jungian Psychology where the married couple leading it asked for what we saw as the meaning for Cancer. It was my first attempt to put it in words, other than in the communications with Gerard. I said, it means feeling in the sense of what is real, true, basic or not as basic. They loved it, and went on and on about it. I was surprised. At that seminar, I also submitted the idea of Capricorn as the way to express yourself in what you do, and what you say, so it reflects who you really are. They accepted that too, and asked me to join them for lunch, and further discussion later.

In development, we do not sort out these modes as divisions, but they really are different aspects of our functioning. We use the modes together, think and feel, speak and act, look and listen, intend, and plan. None of these are the same functioning as another. We need and use all of them. Aspects of our being, and identities we use in different situations and relationships are not divisions about who we are. That is more basic.

But, we integrate to a core of who we are becoming. Some things we do are not doing much toward that, but still are important for our lives, and to be more sure of who we really are. We are not going against ourselves when we need to use an identity for a certain situation.

Maybe that is why I wrote about roadkill, I was wondering if I had a reason. I had the idea that, someone should clean it up, and no one wants to. But, I had learned that I could do this, and take it in stride, so maybe, in the situation, it was up to me. But, that is also how I learned that there can be synergy, all things working together, even in having to go catch a chicken for Sunday dinner, and not wanting to do it. I learned it from the chickens. I could not aim for a certain chicken, but the flock or that one chicken, seemed to sort itself out for me.

Anyway, this article you posted gave me a lot to consider. I reread and changed wording twice, not to say I thought. I will put these in italics. But, yes. I think is OK too. I consider thinking as following along on a train of thought, and it leads to an application. Thinking is not the process of making an application as such.

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Just to be clear, I don’t think there’s anything bad about saying “I think.” In fact I just did and it flowed effortlessly. However, when you naturally want to say “I feel” and you have a knowing (direct or implied) that by expressing it, that it is unacceptable, that’s what is upsetting. Just as its become common understanding that people learn in different modalities, I would counter that people express in different modalities also.

  Tom Baker wrote @

I google myself but mostly to see where my blog is ranking. I also spend lot of time learning about the best Doctor Who actor, Tom Baker.

I am a first time visitor. I saw your comment on the WordPress blog about Zemanta. Nice blog.

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Thanks for stopping by Tom.

  batik jogja wrote @

“I google myself but mostly to see where my blog is ranking.”
hahaha, me too

  mysoulforsale wrote @

This is a great post. Food for thought. Thank you.


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