Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Responsibility Police

It seems I have a life lesson to learn and I need some help in understanding just what that is. For the second time in precisely 5 months I’ve fallen and hit my head. Thankfully this time it ended up as a bruise and an abrasion, rather than a cut and a trip to the ER. At least the lessons are not escalating, so hopefully, perhaps with your help, I can understand what I need to learn to move forward, without a further konk on the noggin!

In both instances I failed to see the impending danger. The first time was black ice that was untreated in a parking lot; today’s was an exposed bracket at floor level (in a parking structure!) that I did not see, tripped over and stumbled chin first into a pole.

Aside from my perception that there is negligence on the part of the property owners for these conditions, there is also the common thread of parking areas, me slipping or tripping, and hitting my head hard on the left side of my body. Last time I also hurt my left shoulder; this time I scrapped my left knee.

In attempting to gain perspective on this emerging pattern, I sought out opinions on “accidents.” I have long since given up any notion about “coincidences” or “accidents.” But I am doing my utmost to understand what my lesson is here. I came across this interesting and insightful article:  http://hubpages.com/hub/Accidents-Arent-Accidental.

I have to say that the reactions from others to the first accident was a bit mixed. Most very concerned, but there was a sense that the men who actually witnessed it were very unconcerned, unhelpful and cold-hearted. Afterward there were women who went out of their way to come to my aid.

Today everyone was very helpful. The people who saw and came upon me were concerned and were assessing me for what kind of help I required. The fact that I wasn’t bleeding profusely was a big difference between this time and the first time.

What was truly heartwarming was the response from the people who worked in the parking garage office–all men. They were all sincerely concerned for my well-being, their hearts were open and they were not in the least defensive or needlessly concerned about liability. They were very genuine in extending themselves to make sure I was okay.

The manager said as I was driving off, “Drive safely. We love you.” What? Were it not for the sincerity that he said it with I would have totally written it off as going over the top to keep me happy. But the expression felt truly genuine.

So this certainly brings to mind what Sherri Cortland writes in her article about the “relationship villain”–the one ostensibly responsible for the accident, is actually one we have been very close to in spirit. While none of these three men were personally responsible for my accident, they certainly represent the company that is responsible for the condition of the structure.

So is it about responsibility? I have long been one to accept personal responsibility. Yet for both these incidents I find it hard to ignore that there are others that are being irresponsible and placing people at risk. It has made it very difficult for me to assume responsibility for my failing to notice the risks myself and avoid the “accident.”

After my fall on black ice I was very angry when ice continued to be left untreated for several days after my accident. I do not feel the same level of anger about these metal brackets on the floor in the garage, however I do feel they are hazards that should be taken care of.

But is it my responsibility to get them to take responsibility? Maybe that’s part of the lesson for me. I am not the responsibility police. Perhaps I have played the role, if only in my head, for a long time, and by doing this, failing to notice my own.

A few months back I had an incident near my home. On some of the back roadways there are a number of stop signs. On this one day I slowed down but didn’t technically come to a complete stop, as there was no one close enough to the intersection to “stop for” and the other roads also had stop signs. However, this man saw me fail to come to a full stop…and sped up, running his stop sign…so he could tell me I didn’t come to a complete stop! He kept yelling, “you didn’t stop, you had a stop sign and you didn’t come to a complete stop.” To which I pointed out that he completely ran through HIS stop sign! I thought about this for days. And now I think about this again. Have I been running my own stop signs, rushing to point out other people’s errors? Very possibly.

Time to Heed the Warnings

So, I think I will make a point of taking responsibility for where I place my feet, and not assume that everyone will be responsible for leaving things in ideal conditions for others. I will shift my focus from what “they” failed to do, and take responsibility for what I failed to do. Tough pill to swallow, but that is my intention. Wish me luck 😀 !


  Lightworker wrote @

This is what Louise Hay says about accidents in her book “Heal your Body”.
Probable cause= Inability to speak up for the self.Rebellion against authority.Belief in violence.

New Thought Pattern= I release the pattern in me that created this.I am at peace. I am worthwhile.
You could also look up the parts of the body that you hurt and that may give you more insight.

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Thanks. I am familiar with Louise Hay’s work, as well as that of others, that’s why I mentioned them. The left side is our feminine nature, (taking a beating I suppose) shoulders-responsibility, eyes-our viewpoint, knees–flexibility and spiritual direction.

I’m just trying to put it all together 🙂

  tasinator wrote @

I used to stumble, fall, bang shins, and otherwise look like a beating victim all the time. In my case, it was due to my lack of focus on the here and now.

I find it heartening that the people were concerned and genuinely helpful. Maybe it demonstrates that we’re not all becoming so shut off by our use of electronic gadgetry.

I do find your example of the gent running the stop sign to chastise you interesting, though. I see similar behavior quite often while commuting to and from the office–people wanting to play traffic cop who are themselves creating the conditions for accidents.

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