Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Under Attack – Part 2 & 3

Ironically while I have been endlessly lauded since beginning my job last May, not long afterward I have also been criticized for not being deferential enough to the “professionals” and on occasion, to clients. The focus has been primarily when I am highly stressed, that I become short with people (true).

However it also has been a focus that where I step forward when I see people crossing boundaries (including those agreed by the powers that be), that I defend those boundaries with insufficient “kindness.” To me that seems like an oxymoron. What am I missing?

So coffee is the answer?

So Coffee is the Answer???

And perhaps that’s the point. Part 1 of being under attack for me is focused on undermining my sense of self. I have long focused on improving myself, reflecting on what the world is saying to me and giving it serious consideration.

Yet at this point I find that while there is truth here, it feels like truth used as a banner for a less high-minded purpose–attacking my core, who I have discovered my Self to be, the good, the bad and sometimes, the ugly. And what I now recognize…I like me, including the bad and ugly. I’m okay not being perfect.

So the jury is out on how much focus I am willing to give those who would have me be less than–less than genuine, less than honest, treating others like  fragile flowers rather than fully formed adults hiding behind well-crafted identities of victimhood. My truth and experience tells me that when you speak to the adult, there is a very good chance the adult will hear and step forward, even if its just for an instant.

But there is a Part 2. That is the whirlwind of competing energies that I contend with that latch onto me. Many clients have given into utter helplessness, some still live with an attitude of entitlement that their circumstances alone should be telling them “dem daze’s ova,” others walk around in a perpetual fog. What seems to tie them all together is the complete inability to see others and what they are experiencing, whether it is other clients, family members or the barista at Starbucks.

This past week after days of being bombarded by dozens of people in endless states of need, topped by a reminder to “be kind,” I escaped in my sneakers for my lunchtime walk as fast as my legs and frustration would move me, only to collapse on a log by the road in tears.

The Crowd

What came up was: “they are sucking the life out of me.” So not for the first time (and not only by me), the notion of energy vampires rose to my awareness. So I began by cutting (energetic) cords, making emphatic declarations that this was completely unacceptable to me and that it was to cease immediately.

I came home and read a lot on the subject, but found much information was more psychological than energetic in nature.  Dissatisfied with it all, I set my intention to awaken with a solution that went beyond what could easily turn into paranoia (not a place I wanted to go).

I awoke remembering a phrase I learned while editing a book several years ago:  “Kadoish, Kadoish, Kadoish, Adonai ‘Tsebayoth” and peace began filling me again.

Under Attack–Part 3

Part 3 is–the gift. In this case, it is the gift I am experiencing and that I anticipate. Not only did I find this wonderful chant on YouTube (below), but I have ordered the CD from which it comes and intend to listen to it a lot on my upcoming vacation. I know on a soul level that it will bring me to another state of being, and for this I am already grateful!

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2 Comments»

  tasinator wrote @

The main issue with “psychic vampyres” is that most of them don’t even realize what they are doing. They create links to the back of someone; they create links without permission, and they never realize the damage that these links can do.

I hope you can rebalance and recenter yourself while on vacation…I’m sure the CD will help. I certainly enjoyed the sample you included from You Tube 😉

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Agreed.

Thanks for the well wishes. I know this vacation will do a lot for both me and my husband!


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