Exquisite Transitions

Exploring the opportunities and gifts of changing times

Oh, Brother…

Transitions happen at any age, at any stage of life. And when they come late in life we think mostly of what some call the ultimate transition…death. And yet, just like those of us who seemingly have decades ahead of us before we are ready for that sort of transition, the elderly too can have to face transitions brought on by changing circumstances.

Of course those changes have been happening all along, loss of parents, change in family life, end of work life, changes in self-identity, loss of peers… Often these transitions are brought on the the death of “someone or something.” Yet profound emotions can be triggered by simple change as well.

My Dad, who will be 90 later this year, is experiencing an unexpected change which is having a deep emotional affect: his 85 year-old brother and his wife have decided to move to Florida year-round. While for the past years they have been wintering in Florida, they have always returned to the Northeast, where he and my family have spent the last 70 plus years. So this sudden announcement came as a tremendous shock to Dad.

Now mind you, as is often the case between siblings, the has been a lot of water under the bridge between them over the decades. In fact they spent many years not speaking at all. But thankfully for them they have come to some sort of peace between them and have arrived at what I would call a removed connection. They speak on the phone perhaps once every 6 weeks, and see each other 2-3 times a year. As they are both now well into their 80’s the hour and a half drive is a strain.

Are you still there?

Strain or not, clearly they are not close. And yet, my Dad is experiencing a sort of mourning. Rationally he understands that they will speak on the phone (same as before) and see each other a couple of times year, yet the ground upon which he has stood his entire life has shifted…again. Undoubtedly despite their distant relationship, knowing that they live in the same state, within driving distance gives a sense of closeness that being 1400 miles away cannot mask. And the last direct connection to his parents is fading from his life…

It’s so easy to fall into feeling sorry for Dad and what he’s experiencing. Human nature perhaps. But I strive to see it from a higher perspective… that of Soul–mine, and his. Experiencing this transition is another step closer to what will be an ultimate shift. Some call it death. I think of it as the well-deserved return to his spirit form, where he can integrate all he’s experienced and learned, and choose what is best for him…next.

And the gift? The gift is in using this time to honestly share our thoughts and feelings about the road ahead. I am very grateful that I have the opportunity to consciously, openly share this sacred time of transition with my Dad.

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6 Comments»

  Akshita wrote @

This is one of the most neat and elegant blog i have come across. 🙂 Great work.

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Thank you very much for your kind words!

  tasinator wrote @

I agree…you have a special way with words.

  shamballa9944 wrote @

***Blushing***

Thank you, both!

  momo2010 wrote @

I luv your blog~ so nature-oriented. 🙂

  shamballa9944 wrote @

Thank you so much Momo. I appreciate your support!


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